(oldie but goodie I received from my friend Melody and decided was worth sharing) *** Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Joke’
Replacement Windows (Joke)
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them. Hellloooo,………..just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean [...]
The Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that??” “Oh,” replies [...]
Tools Explained #rofl
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint [...]
The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
Received via email, too funny not to share! I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have [...]
The Human Body
(This is something I recently received via email and had to share!) It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman’s [...]
The End of Winter
Just last weekend, I had to plow a trail through the snow to get to the barbecue and burn some steaks on an open flame as evolution has taught us men to do! Today I looked out at the deck and noticed that this was all that was left of the snow. It seemed worthy [...]